Alan Fitzgerald (comedian)

Alan Fitzgerald is a stand up comedian from Rhode Island.  He has a hilarious new special out now titled "Straight for Pay" that is getting rave reviews.  We discuss the new special, crappy jobs, drugs, the business of stand up comedy, Steven Segal and more! 

0:00:00 - Intro
0:00:24 - Beards & Gender
0:02:38 - New Special, Clips, Editing, etc.
0:07:10 - Fat Jokes, Fat Shaming & Bullying
0:09:20 - Alcohol & Drugs
0:23:15 - Exercise & Swimming
0:25:15 - Comedy Background & Style
0:30:55 - Other Comedians & Success
0:36:10 - Reactions to Offensive Comedy 
0:41:10 - Horror Movies
0:42:45- Clean Comedians & Evil People
0:45:40 - Steven Segal
0:49:50 - Youtube Channel
0:50:55 - Smarts, Degrees & Sales
0:52:40 - Management & Music
0:55:35 - Publicists & Arguing
0:58:05 - Under the Radar Comics
1:02:35 - Following Your Dreams
1:04:45 - Bad Jobs & Following Scripts
1:12:10 - Hecklers & Roasts
1:13:55 - Promotion
1:15:48 - Outro

YouTube Channel & Special:
https://youtube.com/@explainingshow

Chuck Shute website:
https://www.chuckshute.com/

Transcript

Alan Fitzgerald: 0:13

Okay, awesome. We're good to go then. Oh, no, I'm not. I gotta go. I gotta go brush my hair. No, I'm kidding. I'm good.

Chuck Shute: 0:23

Yeah, no, it looks good. Like a beard. That's I wish I could grow a real beard. That's amazing.

Alan Fitzgerald: 0:30

Yeah. Yeah, it's it's, it's coming in. I'm gonna start looking at homeless soon, so I have to do something about it, unfortunately.

Chuck Shute: 0:41

Yeah, to get that long.

Alan Fitzgerald: 0:46

Shit. You know, when you have a beard like this, you're not good at keeping track of time. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Things just sort of blow by and you you don't know.

Chuck Shute: 0:58

Isn't that amazing? That that like the beard trend came back? Because it's gotta be it's nice for guys that can grow a cool beard like that. Because it also like not only does it I think it kind of looks cool, but also just like it's easier like you don't have to shave now. That's like one thing that you can cross off your list.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:14

No, I could pass off laziness as a fashion choice. A grooming choice. Exactly. Yeah. No, I just I just like beards is all you know. Oh, also, I don't have much of a chin. So for chinless men this. This is this has done us a very very good deed.

Chuck Shute: 1:36

Yeah, definitely. It looks it looks manly. You know that's it's kind of an interesting time. Right now with gender. It's all the other confusion and things that like if you got a beard, people don't miss gender. You very much.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:50

You would think so. I love kids can be so mean.

Chuck Shute: 1:57

Yeah, I can do.

Alan Fitzgerald: 2:03

Man, lady, I hear it every now and then school buses dragged by you know,

Chuck Shute: 2:08

I got misgendered yesterday at the grocery store. someone's like, hey, ma'am, I can help you over here. And I was like, ma'am, I was like, what? Like, and then he's I mean, sir. And off. He was just fucking with me. Or it was kind of weird.

Alan Fitzgerald: 2:20

Yeah, at that point times like this, all you can do is hang your head and ask for a coupon because you're offended.

Chuck Shute: 2:26

Exactly. Well, so let's talk about this new special watch it last night. So funny. How's it how's the reaction been from people? Have you been getting a good reaction from other people as well?

Alan Fitzgerald: 2:42

Yeah, no, no, it's been mostly it's, it's been pretty much all good. Yeah. You know, a lot of people, a lot of people in high school reaching out saying hi, you know, girls who would never talk to me if you have one, which is pretty cool. You know? Just, just Yeah, I have really, really good really, really good. I worked really hard on it. So I'm glad. But I expected to be about 5000 views. I'm almost at 17,000 views. So yeah, that's everything's looking up.

Chuck Shute: 3:18

Well, I feel like it's the bigger thing to me is the clips, right? Because some of your clips have really taken off. And you can continue to make clips from this because I think you only have a handful right now. But I mean, you could chop the entire thing up into clips, right?

Alan Fitzgerald: 3:32

Yeah, that's in the process of being done. I keep on getting this weird thing on tick tock do like a copyright strike or something. So I got to figure that out. Maybe it's the music I'm using. But I got I got to figure that out before it put more of them out. It's a real pain in the ass. I've always hated Tik Tok. Now I just hate them even more.

Chuck Shute: 3:54

Yeah, I'm not a fan of tick tock. It is weird, though. Like because I'll do a clip of the podcast and I'll put it on tick tock YouTube and Instagram. And I never know which one is going to blow up the most. Like I could put the exact same clip and sometimes tick tock it blows up and sometimes Instagram it does. But it's weird when like, it'll have like 1000s on one and like 200 on the other. I'm like, I don't understand is the same clip.

Alan Fitzgerald: 4:17

Yeah, I found if I sacrifice a goat, tick tock will do the best if I sacrifice a chicken, Instagram, so on so forth. You know.

Chuck Shute: 4:26

That's great. Yeah, I mean, it's amazing that you can make a special because before it might have taken years to like break in and know the right people and all this analysis like all these comedians are just putting their stuff out on YouTube. Like even mark Norman had, which I was like, Dude, he's huge. And he had to put his out on YouTube. But for now he got one on Netflix, but I think that's great that you guys can do this on YouTube. And you did this cheap. It was only like three grand or something.

Alan Fitzgerald: 4:52

Yeah, and half of that is because I'm too lazy to edit my own clips. So I've had to pay someone to do that. So that That's

Chuck Shute: 5:00

including the price of the clips that have been already posted.

Alan Fitzgerald: 5:05

With all future clips to I paid in advance.

Chuck Shute: 5:07

Oh, so you already have like the other clips already edited and ready. You just haven't posted them yet. They're being

Alan Fitzgerald: 5:13

edited in there. They're being taken care of. Wow,

Chuck Shute: 5:17

you might have to tell me what editing company this is. I'd love to get somebody like I doing editing to it's the worst part of all this stuff.

Alan Fitzgerald: 5:27

Yeah, it's that's just my friend and Shamili is doing an awesome job. I'll send you his info after this. Yeah, he's, yeah, he's doing it's just a buddy. And he, I guess he started messing around editing. So I was like, well, I'll just, you know, I'll hire him.

Chuck Shute: 5:43

Yeah, cuz I know you do? Or what's that? Fiverr or whatever. I've used that for some other stuff before. And that works really well. And it's like, really affordable.

Alan Fitzgerald: 5:52

Really? Yeah, I didn't. I didn't even look around. I just I like working with people. I know what I like.

Chuck Shute: 5:59

That's true, too, then you can tell them. One, it's a lot easier because there is some that I one time I had this thing I was trying to do like a new, like a cartoon kind of comic for my podcast cover of me. And I sent it to the person and she just did not get it. And I was like, and I couldn't get my money back. I was like, Well, I guess I'm just out this like 50 bucks or whatever.

Alan Fitzgerald: 6:19

Yeah, well, when you're a comedian, you really know what you don't have to worry about stuff like that. There's always a comedian who does what you need them to do. You know, I got a great, I got a bunch of friends who do graphic design, I got a bunch of friends to do at it. And oh, you know, all these people. You know, they look for creative outlets and other ways. So when you know a lot of comedians, you can just even find someone that you know exactly what they're going to do beforehand, because you've seen their work. Yeah. Do you do it over Facebook?

Chuck Shute: 6:48

Yeah. Do you do stuff for other comedians? Like, do you write jokes for other comedians or do anything else? Like what besides just writing jokes? Your specialty? Pretty much?

Alan Fitzgerald: 6:57

Yeah, no, I just write and tell jokes. That's it. I don't even put on I started putting on a show recently. Hopefully, it'll work out. But I really like to keep it simple.

Chuck Shute: 7:06

Yeah, I know, you're really good at it. I loved all the there was a lot of fat jokes in this. What are your thoughts on like fat shaming and stuff like that? Because I saw something yesterday that said, like, if you're a concern for somebody who's overweight, that's considered fat shaming.

Alan Fitzgerald: 7:26

Yeah, I mean, look, if I can make fun of something, I'm gonna make fun of it. And unfortunately, for us fats, it's just it's a way if people are gonna make fun of people or fat. Like I would never, I, you know, it's one thing to like, harass someone online. Like, I think it's gross. Like when people on YouTube don't even know the person or like, you're a fat bitch, obviously. But for the sake of stand up comedy, you're just talking in generalities. You know, honesty is a big part of comedy. So, if you're going to be honest about being fat, then you're gonna have to say, well, you'll die sooner and you're less attracted to less attractive to the opposite sex, and it's mostly your fault. You know? Like, we can't get around it. I can't act like I'm not doing this myself with Ben and Jerry's.

Chuck Shute: 8:17

Yeah, I mean, it's I had this guy on the other day, and he's, he's the bigger guy and he, he punched out. I don't know if you know, the misfits. But he punched out Glenn Danzig, and he went viral for this. And he wrote a book, and it's all the hate mail he got. And it's all these like, just, you know, people calling him a fat, fat ass and all these things. And I mean, so you're, if you're able to laugh at some of that stuff. I mean, that kind of helps you get through it. Right?

Alan Fitzgerald: 8:41

Yeah, that's the whole point of a sense of humor. When things are bad.

Chuck Shute: 8:45

Yeah. And you were talking about your your bullying jokes. And you talked about you were bullied? Is that kind of how you dealt with it as a kid?

Alan Fitzgerald: 8:53

I guess. So. I don't know. I haven't been to a shrink in a while.

Chuck Shute: 8:57

But I mean, that's because that's hard. Like if you're if you get bullied as a kid, and then you if you can't, like, fight back with your humor, or you can't fight back and just kick their ass like, then you just kind of have to take it right.

Alan Fitzgerald: 9:08

Yeah, that's true. You know, being the funny kid helps. Being the fun and good definitely helps. Also, when you when you when bad things in life happen if you're able to laugh at them. It's a way to get through it to like being an alcoholic, is absolutely horrible. But it's also hilarious. You know, like, like being a drunk is really, really funny, especially if you're sober for a few years, and you can just sort of look back on it, and strike a fucking handle of vodka a day. How's that possible? You just think of all the weird ways your car has been parked when you woke up the next day, you know? You know, a lot of

Chuck Shute: 9:49

good stories like that of the drunken times like good, funny stories from that.

Alan Fitzgerald: 9:56

I guess so. Every drunk should have funny stories. Is or else you wasted it. You know, you should be at least having fun or remembering funny thing towards the most

Chuck Shute: 10:10

fucked up you ever were like with drip because you did other shitzu right? Did you do like heroin and a couple times and

Alan Fitzgerald: 10:16

I did heroin a couple of times. Yeah, one time. I said, I'm doing heroin. Like holy shit, I'm doing heroin. The other time. I snorted a lot of heroin. I said, Wow, this is fucking really good coke and my friend laughed at me. So, you know, and we did the I did heroin once I only snorted it I never shot it or anything like that.

Chuck Shute: 10:39

And that works when you start it because it's not what the lady did in Pulp Fiction and then she frickin had the odd or whatever.

Alan Fitzgerald: 10:46

Yeah, it does work when you snort in you're actually far less likely to OD if you just ignored it.

Chuck Shute: 10:54

Yeah, but you don't get you didn't get addicted to it wasn't like the best feeling you ever felt then you had to keep chasing it.

Alan Fitzgerald: 11:01

No. To be honest, I was more anxious about it was like holy shit. I should do heroin. What the fuck is wrong with me? Sort of that sort of whole thing. So I just did it the two times. I did coke much more than that. Alcohol was a daily thing. Yeah.

Chuck Shute: 11:17

How did you exist? Because I thought you heard heard you say that? You started drinking in middle school? That's great. Like was it with other kids or just steal your parents booze or like what? What motivated you to start drinking in middle school?

Alan Fitzgerald: 11:33

What motivated you to drink in middle school? Middle school, right? You had a couple of beers? You hung out?

Chuck Shute: 11:39

I mean, yeah, not middle school. High school. I think more so yeah. High School. I think for middle school. I was still like, I guess I was immature. I was still like playing with GI Joes and stuff. So when I hear these stories of kids like having sex and doing drugs in middle school, I'm like, Wow, you guys are a little more advanced than me. I

Alan Fitzgerald: 11:56

didn't have sex on Middle School. Not even with my GI Joes. I had no sex in middle school. Yeah, no, I would still just my friends were like, Hey, let's get some beers. I was like, Yeah, dude. Fucking Of course. It's the coolest thing ever, you know, drinking alcohol like an adult.

Chuck Shute: 12:13

And isn't that first beer. You're just like, you kind of fake it. You're like, Yeah, this is great. But really like, Oh, this is disgusting.

Alan Fitzgerald: 12:20

I mean, I you know, I heard beer wasn't good. And I didn't love it. But I didn't hate it either. I drank Miller genuine draft. I used to drink a bunch of those. That was like the first 30 we ever got. And we got Busch light and stuff like that. Yeah, I mean, I was just happy to be drinking beer. I mean, I didn't really care if it tasted all that great. I mean, they tell you it's an acquired taste anyways. But beer it's it doesn't take long. Doesn't take long to acquire the taste for it, man. Well, yeah, and

Chuck Shute: 12:55

especially now with like Bush light. Actually, I'll say it's not that bad for a light beer. But now with all the the microbrews and stuff. They have so many different flavors. I love going to the breweries and getting the sampler and trying all the different ones. I mean, that's the thing for me. Now, I don't drink that much. But like I love the different flavors. But I think I heard you talk about non alcoholic beer. And I think there's some good non alcoholic beers too. Like I've gone periods without drinking and a you can do non alcoholic beer. And you can do obviously, Coke without rum and stuff like that. The only thing that I would always miss when I wasn't drinking was red wine. Because that's something that you know, an alcoholic wine tastes like shit.

Alan Fitzgerald: 13:34

I can imagine. i What's the point? You know, I was never a big. I like white wine that didn't really like red wine. And mostly because I just like drinking cold stuff. When I always I always drink iced coffee and everything like that. I don't like warm or medium or room temperature liquids usually.

Chuck Shute: 13:52

Yeah, no, that's definitely but I mean, I think too. It's like when you're drinking the handle, then it's like I've gotten to those points to where it's like you're doing I remember my grandpa were at this wedding. And he's like, all they got at this wedding is wine and beer that doesn't really have the medicinal purposes that I'm looking for. Like he drank like martinis and stuff. So when you're drinking the handle a day you're not really looking for the taste, obviously.

Alan Fitzgerald: 14:15

Martinis by the way. Everyone thinks they're for fancy shmancy folks, it's the most economical way to get hammered.

Chuck Shute: 14:23

No, I think you're right my grandpa was definitely a tight with the dollar and he would have these he's only drinking one Martini but it was like pure moves.

Alan Fitzgerald: 14:32

Oh, yeah, that's what it is. Just like you know, you get some a little bit of all of you know all of whatever in it. I usually got up just a splash of lime juice on that just straight up vodka. And you drink two of those. You are fine. Three of them. You're really really drunk. And, you know, I drink six of them once but that was in my like a day. My heyday like I was bilkul I was a medical bill collector for a while. out. Have you ever been a bill collector? No. All right.

Chuck Shute: 15:03

No. So you said like, oh, wait, no, I'm thinking of what's the thing that Seth Rogen did in that Pineapple Express? That was a, like a, where they tried to get people to go to court. But no, this is that sounds like similar kind of job where everyone hates you, right?

Alan Fitzgerald: 15:18

I was on the phone. And I had to call people who were who didn't have men who didn't pay medical bills. Some of them were really, really sick. And it just it was it was the worst job I like I ever had. I got paid pretty well and everything like that, but just doing it over and over again, kill me. I used to get hammered every day, I would drive right down the street and have on average four martinis just through the job. One time I did six. I found out years later. Yeah, I found out years later, they used to call me crazy vodka guy.

Chuck Shute: 15:50

So they knew that you were drunk and they didn't care.

Alan Fitzgerald: 15:54

I mean, you know, whatever. It's not their fault. I mean, let me drink six martinis and drive out of there's pretty wild, but it only happen the one time.

Chuck Shute: 16:06

Let's say you're drinking on the job, then they're okay with that.

Alan Fitzgerald: 16:10

Lunch break. And they weren't okay with it. They didn't know about it.

Chuck Shute: 16:16

Okay, yeah, cuz I used to work in the school. So like, we can never I always hear stories like people gonna have a couple of beers at lunch and stuff. I'm like, you couldn't do that at this. If you have like one beer at lunch on a school job. Like you probably get fired.

Alan Fitzgerald: 16:29

Yeah, they found out they would have fired my ass too. If they found out they just didn't for some reason. I guess I was really good at chewing gum.

Chuck Shute: 16:38

Yeah. I can't

Alan Fitzgerald: 16:40

figure it out. Well, and then like

Chuck Shute: 16:44

Yeah, well, now I can. I think I heard you talking about edibles too. And that's a big thing. I wonder how many people are taking edibles. Just like when you go out into society and you'd like you go to the mall? Like how many people? Because that's so easy. And how would you tell? I'm sure there's some probably sort of drug tests you could give them. But there's probably a lot of people that work on edibles, and just go out into the world.

Alan Fitzgerald: 17:07

Yeah, some people are better off. Hi. You know, I don't think it's a lot of people. But I do know people, they just smoke weed and they just get their shit done. It really helps a lot of people with anxiety. So some people just like sort of need it. I just It doesn't help me at all. I mean, it just helps me enjoy a movie more. I never go out and about on it, you know? But yeah, I think a lot of people fucking smoke pot together. I know. I worked with people all the time. You get high every chance they got to work.

Chuck Shute: 17:42

Yeah, it's, it's, uh, I think I was always one of those people that kind of got paranoid with it. And then I just stopped doing it for years. And then it became legal here again, or for the first time and I was like, Oh, maybe I should maybe I should try it again and see if I like it. And for me, it's still kind of like a lot of times I just either get paranoid, or I just get like cloudy. Like I had Tommy Chong on. And I was like, Okay, I got a smoke pot, because I've Tommy Chong on my podcast. I smoke, you have to smoke pot. Yes. Yeah, you have to and so but then I realized I was like, dude, towards the end of the podcast. I was like, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. And I was like, it was so cloudy. And I was like, I'm not I want to be like a Joe Rogan and smoke pot. But I'm like, I just don't think that's really me. Like, I'm just I'm better just sober. Kind of boring. I know.

Alan Fitzgerald: 18:26

Yeah. Yeah, most people aren't better to sober. I used to I never I don't go on stage high. I barely ever go out high. It's good. For one thing and one thing only. I turn on a movie. I turn on a TV show I turn on some music and I just frickin chill out. It is nothing but relaxation. Period of discussion.

Chuck Shute: 18:47

That's interesting. You never get the paranoid shit. You never get the shit real like doing like that. You do get in your head and all that the opposite whenever.

Alan Fitzgerald: 18:56

Whenever I'm in public it does. It's like whenever I'm in social situations, I can't get out of my own head. But if I'm in my room by myself with the fucking shades drawn, you know, then you know, for some reason for some reason, that's the only way I can do it. I just by myself. Yeah, if we've watched the movie high, right? Oh, yeah,

Chuck Shute: 19:19

dude, I remember watching like South Park one time and I was like, I was like, holy shit. This is what the show was made for. It was made for watching it on weed like it was a totally different experience. The colors were brighter. It was way funnier. Like it was totally different.

Alan Fitzgerald: 19:37

Yeah, I used to get high before every new South Park every single one of them even if I only smoked weed that one time I would just get high and watch the fucking it's it's the best that that that's what we've made for for me. I these people get hired on stage. I don't I don't know how they do it. I really, really don't. But again, in the end, it affects everybody differently.

Chuck Shute: 20:00

Yeah, well, I think sometimes you can tell like sometimes a guy will get up there and they'll talk about like, how much he loves weed and then you can cut you can totally tell they're stoned. And then I feel like yeah, they're not very quick or they're kind of losing track of the jokes. And I don't think it enhances it for him a lot of times I think

Alan Fitzgerald: 20:18

it hurts in audiences to like, I've done a couple of weed rooms, you know, 420 friendly comedy shows. And I haven't done one since I went to one and just no one got the jokes. It was just it was so fun. It was like pulling teeth. There was no I tweeted that night. I said, Never send a comedian do a strobe lights job. And ever since I have decided I'm not doing comedy for fucking high people. They don't fucking get it. That's a

Chuck Shute: 20:47

really interesting point. Yeah. Because with the legal weed everywhere, not ever, but a lot of states. I mean, there's got to be a lot more people. Hi. So. But aren't they just kind of mixed in everywhere to like, I mean, anywhere you go, there could be a lot of people that either smoked on their vape or they did edibles before.

Alan Fitzgerald: 21:04

Yeah, we're a little more high now. Yeah, we often? Well, that's good that it's not, you know?

Chuck Shute: 21:16

Yeah, that's not, you can still do that recreationally. Whereas, like, you can't recreationally do heroin. And the booze like, that's cool that you can still do that. You have something that you can kind of have fun with.

Alan Fitzgerald: 21:29

Yeah, I can do mushrooms I can do Molly, I can do LSD. I haven't done LSD in a while just because it's a fucking two day hangover. It's not even worth it anymore. It just starts to kick the shit out of you when you're old. But mushrooms or other psychedelics, things like that I can do I have to get away from Xanax because if you know what you drunks out there who are just going off switch does. Xanax activates the exact same pleasure zones of the brain as alcohol. It's almost the same thing. So I have to steer clear that opiates. No, I've seen one too many documentaries. You know, cocaine isn't fun anymore without alcohol. Crack. Come on. I can't. I can't be doing crack. You know, it's just, it's just silly. 37 year old man doing crack, you know, for the first you know, getting into it late in life. And, you know, meth obviously, I don't touch. But I can still, I can still dabble.

Chuck Shute: 22:27

Yeah, what is Molly like? I've never, I've never done I've always been scared of that one. Because they always said like, Oh, if you do ecstasy more than six times you have to be on antidepressants for the rest of your life. Or

Alan Fitzgerald: 22:39

that might be true. I'm on antidepressants. I did a bunch of fucking Nexus team after high school. I haven't done Mali in a little bit. What they tell you is this just wait 45 days after you before you do Mali again. Because that gives your brain time to recuperate fix itself. You know, so I don't think you know, you can only do Mollier X see a set amount of times, you just ain't don't want to make a habit out and be when you do do it. You need to give your brains some time to rebuild the dopamine levels and shit like that.

Chuck Shute: 23:15

Right? Yeah. Do you ever try like natural stuff like meditation or exercise or anything like that? I know for me, like I love. I'm in Arizona. It's hot as hell here. So I always go swimming and swimming. Like for me is like, it clears my mind. Like a lot. Like I'm like, okay, like, I feel physically, you know, it helps me a little too. But like mentally I feel like that really clears my mind up. And if that makes sense.

Alan Fitzgerald: 23:36

Swimming, swimming is unbelievable. It feels awesome. I wish I could do it more. Like but I can't really it's tough to find a pool in New York. Like, I'm sure I could find a pool. But you know, like, it's probably like it's just filled to the brim any and anytime there is a pool because there's so few of them. You know, you're just you know, you're with a bunch of traffic and I don't even you know, I can't afford a gym that has like a pool my own lane. I can swim and stuff like that. But swimming is the absolute fucking most relaxing exercise there is. It's, it's perfect. I love it so much. I need to start doing more.

Chuck Shute: 24:13

Yeah, I agree. So if you're in New York, so you were originally in Rhode Island. So now you're in New York, New Yorkers, they walk a lot, right? Don't they walk because I know when we went to New York, I think I walked like 16 miles one day. I mean, we were doing all the touristy shit and stuff, too. But

Alan Fitzgerald: 24:29

yeah, yeah, there's the best way to see New York to is just walk around the best way to explore New York. So you know, I walked two, three miles a day, easy. Easy, sometimes much more than that. Yeah, you're just going back and forth. Doing shows? Like you know, you're trying to get up as many times as possible. Take the train, but you know, it's always going to be at least a half mile walk to where you're going. You know. So that mean? I think I lost a little bit of weight in New York just by big just because of how much you have to I can walk. It's you know, I, you know, eat like shit, but you can eat like shit and lose weight here. You know if you walk enough. Yeah, so

Chuck Shute: 25:13

you said, going to different shows. I can't remember I think it might have been Liz Meili, or one of the comedians from New York add on. They were saying that they sometimes will do five different shows in one day. What's the most shows you've done in a day? Do you do that jewelry bounce from club to club to club to do sets?

Alan Fitzgerald: 25:30

I think four is the most I've ever done in a day. I am. I did. I think I did five mics once like in Boston, for Boston or Rhode Island. I did I did a whole thing. That's it. But like when I when you first start, that's when you have to do that shit. When you have to just frickin hit show after my you have to get on stage as much as possible. When you've been doing it for a long time. It's it's more about the quality of the stage time you get.

Chuck Shute: 25:59

Yeah, that makes sense. So how long? Have you been doing comedy for that? I couldn't figure that out. Because you obviously like you said you've had these other jobs. So comedy wasn't your full time thing? Or initially?

Alan Fitzgerald: 26:10

No, it's been 12 years. So it took 11 years to it took 11 years to even squeak out even a miniscule living that I have right now off stand up comedy. 11 years. Yeah.

Chuck Shute: 26:35

Wait, how old were you when you first when then we were like 20 or something? Or?

Alan Fitzgerald: 26:41

No, I was like, 20. You know, whatever. It might be longer than 12 years? I don't know. I was somewhere between 23 and 25. Okay. Yeah, it was quite a blur. Back then. You remember,

Chuck Shute: 26:59

you remember the first time you got up? I mean, I'm assuming most people's first time they bomb.

Alan Fitzgerald: 27:04

I did great my first time. And I did great my second time. And then I bombed for the next six months. It was a dark time.

Chuck Shute: 27:15

That's amazing that you kept going for those six months then and didn't just give up?

Alan Fitzgerald: 27:20

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, really is

Chuck Shute: 27:26

Did you see a light at the end of the tunnel? Were you working on things and tinkering and trying to get better, like what kept you going if it were continued to bomb just those first two to remembering the feeling from the first two times.

Alan Fitzgerald: 27:42

I don't know. I just really, I just really love standing up. I used to watch it all the goddamn time. Like all the time as a kid, I loved it. So I just kept on writing new stuff. And none of it worked. I had, I had like a new five minutes every week, and it was just all trash. But trying all that out helped help speed up the process of me learning how to really write a joke. So after those six months, I started figuring stuff out a little bit. And then after a year, I had a solid eight to 10 minutes. It was not it was trashed by you know, regular standards. But as far as I concerned, I was concerned after six months of just bombing all the time, just to have a little bit of reliable material was just it was it felt amazing. So it's unbelievable. So it was worth it. And I kind of always knew it'd be worth it. Yeah, so

Chuck Shute: 28:38

was your style always? This I don't even know what you call it like a fence. Like it's not offensive to me because I watch a lot of comedies. And I think that's what if you watch a lot of comedy, I think people are really going to enjoy this special because you're not just doing the typical like predictive. Like there's a lot of comedians were like, I know where this jug is going. Where's yours? We're like, I was like, Oh, he's not gonna go there. And then you went there? Is that how your comedy always was? After that six months? Or when did you develop this? Like kind of like, I don't know what you call it, like offensive style.

Alan Fitzgerald: 29:09

I don't know. It was it was all really sort of a blur. The first six months I tried running clean, I tried running dirty, none of it. Nothing really worked. So that first six months, so it's hard to even consider that. Like, I don't even count that. Like I wasn't even doing coffee back then. I was just on a stage talking for five minutes. Just hoping it makes sense. You know, it was like Hail Mary attempt at a joke. I literally had that little idea of what the fuck I was doing. And then I started getting going to open mics. And I instantly just bring her shows. I just did bring her shows for a while. I started going to actual open mics in front of comedians. And because I did a lot open mics and I didn't get booked a lot early. I would only perform to comedians and performative right? Comedians is way different than performing in front of regular people. So you have to go a little dirty a lot of times you have to go extra dark to make those people fucking laugh. You just have to

Chuck Shute: 30:18

know That's exactly true. Yeah, cuz, like I said, I mean, I've watched so much comedy. I've done a little comedy. I wasn't really I watch people like you and I'm like, I can't do that shit. So that's why I'm do the podcast stuff. But yeah, I think that's what what is amazing about yours that if you've heard you feel like you've heard every comedian every joke, then watch your special because it's it's, it's a different level. That's why I would think like, the reaction is the reaction from other comedians really good as well.

Alan Fitzgerald: 30:43

Yeah, they've always been my biggest fans. Fuck another fix. My only fans, I should say.

Chuck Shute: 30:50

Yeah. When you started when you said you went to those open mics? Did you make friends with a lot of other comedians? And did any of them like help you or give you advice? Or, like, help you help you with your jokes?

Alan Fitzgerald: 31:02

No, not in Boston. In Rhode Island, that's where I started meeting people I really liked. People were good to me. Was it was it was providence. I'll never forget it. I'll never, ever forget that. Like, that's why I still love Providence this day. I was just meeting guys like, My people were still friends with me this day, like Rob green and Craig Bucha. A lot of James criminal. A lot of Mexican company. But they were really good. They were really really good. We had a really good solid scene. A really good nucleus of young open like comedians in Rhode Island. I got on with those crew. And and yeah, that's, that's where I started meeting friends. That's where people started noticing me. That's where I eat. That's where you can say whatever you want Rhode Island, those people they just don't give a fuck. They really don't. If you're a dirty comedian wrote Providence, Rhode Island is heaven for offensive comedy.

Chuck Shute: 32:03

That's interesting. You say that?

Alan Fitzgerald: 32:05

You're also heaven. It's also having if you like Portuguese food or strip clubs. Okay. Good to know. Yeah.

Chuck Shute: 32:15

All right. Well, so yeah. Explain that, though, that your friends quit. Why did they if they were so funny, why did they quit? Is it? Is it just like for life? They weren't making enough money or what was what happened there. That's always fascinating to me. When you see talent go to waste. I hate it.

Alan Fitzgerald: 32:29

I mean, it mostly happens, good comedians usually quit. Because they just get passed by shit. Comedians. It happens sort of all the time. Just, uh, you know, some girl will be hot, she'll get on shows. There'll be some guy who just knows how to talk to people. He knows how to network. Some guys, they don't know how to network, really, they don't have any charm about them. They just keep sending emails to Booker's and email and Booker's just break. And they're putting hacks on really good shows, just because they're sick of being annoyed by the guy, you know. So there's a lot that goes into getting stage time. And sometimes it isn't about just like who's the funniest, especially at those sort of lower beginning levels. It's more about how you can approach someone you know, how, you know, you know, how we know how to send an email the right way, a lot of it is sort of real life skills that people have with being able to look someone in the eye and, and confidently tell them what you're about and everything like that, you know. And so a lot of people who aren't very creative towards weirdos, like, they're really good comedians, I know, they get ahead, even though their material is. So in that beginning, when that happens over and over and over again, it can fucking really crush someone. And they're like, I don't understand, I'm good at this. I'm fucking good at this, I'm doing something different. You're just bringing up some jerk, barely, who can just stand up there and talk for seven minutes. You know, like, it's very valuable to just be able to talk sometimes, without offending anyone. Even if you're not even all that funny, you're just good looking or likeable enough, you can just sort of get away with being up there. And as long as you don't cause any issues that's very valuable to Booker's.

Chuck Shute: 34:15

That is very insightful, and very true. I think you're right on with all that. It's kind of sad, though, because like you said, then that makes the really good comedians, sometimes quick, and I've had some really funny comedians on my show that some people may have never heard of, but to me, I'm like, these are some of the funniest people on the planet. And so that is really interesting that hopefully they don't they don't quit.

Alan Fitzgerald: 34:38

Yeah, well, you know, it just it just really sucks. It really sucks. When really like, I've seen a lot of great comedians, like fucking people who were just borderline like geniuses that just just like I'm sick of this, no, no more can't take it.

Chuck Shute: 34:54

Because they can still even if they're more niche, I mean, they would still have a cult following and now If they can still make it, but they're just not going to be at that next level, and then they decide to just give up.

Alan Fitzgerald: 35:07

Because they can't see even getting to the next level. Because they're not making any progress. They're at their act is making progress. Their act is making progress because they're taking chances, they're doing what you should do. So they're still they're funny, and they're getting funnier. But it just doesn't seem to matter to, you know, certain gatekeeper gatekeepers and local scene and sometimes, and they just go with the plain Joe Schmo guy who's not going to offend anyone, he's just gonna go out there. He's going to talk about dating for a little bit. And he's going to talk about this for a little bit. Maybe he'll talk about his mental illness for a little bit. And Obama, Obama, Obama, just sort of, you know, cookie cutter horseshit that just sort of makes Booker's happy. Because when a booker wants to do he wants to make sure that like no one leaves before the headliner gets on a lot. So for feature x, they don't want taking any chance. Because they don't care. They don't leave their seat.

Chuck Shute: 36:10

That's a really good point. And good observation. So that actually hurts like somebody like yourself, because they're, I'm assuming that there's some bits of people that have walked out of your shows or got I know you've mentioned one in the, in the in the special about a woman that got kind of upset with you. But does that happen a lot to you that people get offended at your stuff and yell at you after the show, or walk out?

Alan Fitzgerald: 36:33

One time I did a show in Rhode Island. And a woman came up to me this was like six years ago. woman came up to me after the show, and she says Hi, I'm from Brooklyn, and we're trying to stop people like you Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I did it happens. It happens every now and then. It's not that it's not that big of a deal. Most most of the time what happens when you have a bad set is no one confronts you or anything. You're just sort of bomb on stage and people don't like to hear it? Yeah.

Chuck Shute: 37:09

Do you ever have the opposite? Because the jokes I see I know their jokes I understand how comedy works so I understand you're kidding you're not really going to kill people and rape people and things these are your doing jokes but you ever have people come up to you have to the show. They kind of like that say that they related to the jokes like had the opposite effect. You're like oh, you're not getting these are jokes. I don't really like I'm not really like racist and things like that.

Alan Fitzgerald: 37:35

Yeah. Every now and then I have to tell someone like dude, they're just jokes. I'm not running for town selectman. Like, I'm not this is not a platform, or anything of a serious way to live your life. You know it no one ever says. That's that. Perfect. That's, that's that's not even like, you just get a vibe from someone that they like you for the wrong reason. Every now and then. Yeah,

Chuck Shute: 37:59

I definitely like got that one. The special. I was like, Oh, I hope some people aren't, like gravitating towards this because it feels like and that's what the pray that Brooklyn woman is saying is like, we want to stop people like you. But it's like, Yeah, but you're doing it as a joke. Like, it's more like you're making fun of people like that. Is that's how I take?

Alan Fitzgerald: 38:18

Yeah, I don't think that's the best way to take it. That's how it's meant, you know, but it's my job as a comedian to make that clear, without making it clear. You know? How do I put it? You know, it's inferred by how ridiculous what I'm saying is that I don't believe it.

Chuck Shute: 38:40

Right. That's what's that's what makes it so funny. That's because I'm like, oh, like, because nobody would really say those things or think those things. It's It's ludicrous, which is that's what it makes you laugh.

Alan Fitzgerald: 38:52

Even if they did believe them. They wouldn't. Like, if that's the thing, if someone believed everything that I said on stage, they would probably keep that to themselves. And if someone's saying the things I'm saying, there's a 99% chance they're a joke and a 1% chance that they're literally out of their fucking mind.

Chuck Shute: 39:13

Definitely, yeah, well, and that's the debate. Right now. There's just comedy and art and Jen censorship and all that it's weird that we're talking about all that stuff again, because I thought we kind of settled that in the 80s or was all the, you know, the Satanic Panic and trying to cancel heavy metal and stuff. And then it was like, Okay, well, we're nobody gives a shit about that anymore. And now it's like, we're kind of coming back to that in a way. But now it seems like it's loosening back up again.

Alan Fitzgerald: 39:37

I think it was a few years ago, I think five or six years ago, people just sort of hopped on the PC train, even if they didn't actually believe it themselves. Just because they didn't want to get in trouble. But that slowly people are jumping off that thing. It's just it's never gonna last because people like to laugh. And people like people like dangerous cinema and they like you know, they'd like things like that. They just do. You know? I mean, if you're saying that someone should be able to tell certain jokes then how come you get to make horror movies, which are literally just people killing each other? No.

Chuck Shute: 40:13

Way worse.

Alan Fitzgerald: 40:15

Yeah. But then people will make Well, well, well hold on, hold on. They're going after comedians. That's fine. I don't have a sense of humor, but I like horror movies. You know, we're always they're going after death metal. I love death metal. Hip Hop, don't go after a hip hop. So you know, you can you can attack pretty much anything you want to anything. That's fun.

Chuck Shute: 40:35

That's why it's, yeah. I love freedom. I love I love being able to make the choice and stuff like even and I think some of the hip hop stuff is just hilarious. Like the webcast Pelosi saw. I think that's one of the funniest songs. I listened to that and I just, if I if you've ever heard Ben Shapiro read the lyrics. I mean, I just only like,

Alan Fitzgerald: 40:55

only like, 700 times. I've only heard that like, 700 times. It's really funny. But let me tell you people getting mad about a song about a policy like, Hey, what are we doing here? Like, what are we doing?

Chuck Shute: 41:09

Yeah, well, you mentioned movies. You love horror movies, too, right?

Alan Fitzgerald: 41:12

I actually prefer action movies, but I'll watch our movies too. Like really good movies getting made now our horror movies. It seems like sometimes.

Chuck Shute: 41:20

Have you seen any good new ones? I'm always looking for new ones to watch.

Alan Fitzgerald: 41:24

What's the newest horror movie? I saw that I really liked? Shit.

Chuck Shute: 41:30

So it's hard to remember the name. Did you ever see Did you see the new one? I think it's called barbarian that.

Alan Fitzgerald: 41:34

I did. I did. I really liked barbarian I really liked it. It was really good. It was creepy. And a woman was just so gross. I thought I thought it was really really fucking good. Justin Long as like fuck fucking big in the horror man. He's He's like a horror icon. That guy? Yeah, seriously, the guy

Chuck Shute: 41:55

that made it? I think he was he's like a comedy guy. He's from the whitest kids, you know, show or whatever. I didn't. I saw that. I was really. Yeah, it's interesting. Like, and also with the

Alan Fitzgerald: 42:05

what's the Jordan Peele convenient to?

Chuck Shute: 42:07

You're gonna say that he did that really good horror movie, too. And he's from the comedy background.

Alan Fitzgerald: 42:12

Yeah. Yeah, there was there's a movie called Judas in the black Messiah. That was written by a pair of twins or comedians. I forget their name, but the Full Movie was fucking incredible.

Chuck Shute: 42:22

Like, knock that one out?

Alan Fitzgerald: 42:24

Yeah, comedians are like comedians, every comedian. I know almost every single one of them just watches a ton of movies. So it makes sense that we're good at them.

Chuck Shute: 42:31

Well, and comedians are it makes sense that comedians can make horror movies, because from the comedians I've interviewed, a lot of them are very dark, or they have a dark side to them that they you know, that's underneath all the comedy,

Alan Fitzgerald: 42:43

especially the clean ones. Those guys are out of their fucking mind to sick and twisted fucks. Really, they really? Oh, they really are. Yeah. Bob Saget. I know, Bob tech. It's dirty. Well, yeah,

Chuck Shute: 42:57

but he got to be clean on America's Funniest videos in full house. There's a lot of people. It was a kid. I didn't know he's a dirty comic.

Alan Fitzgerald: 43:06

Yeah, no, that's, that's sort of the most well known thing in comedy. Like, if you're a clean comic, then you're sort of dirty on the inside and you just don't share it with people.

Chuck Shute: 43:18

So vehicles have some clean comics that you that you know, that are dirty on the inside.

Alan Fitzgerald: 43:24

The best example is the guy who was an actual rapist. I forget his name. But he was he was the rapist comedian. He would go around. He never told jokes about rape though. I guess his act was clean as a whistle. But he was just he actually like, you know.

Chuck Shute: 43:44

Bill Cosby.

Alan Fitzgerald: 43:46

Well, yeah, him him. He's the most famous one. Um, but there was another guy. But

Unknown: 43:55

this comedian Jesus.

Alan Fitzgerald: 43:57

Yes. Yeah. He wasn't nearly as big. He was like, you know, he tore into colleges and he never got big or anything. I

Chuck Shute: 44:03

think I heard about this story. Yeah. Yeah. But you know

Alan Fitzgerald: 44:07

what Bill Cosby is actually probably the absolute best example there is. No one didn't clean her comedy then Bill Cosby, nobody. And then the you know, he's doing all that heinous. awful shit. I'm not saying all clean comics are bad people. I'm just saying they tend to be darker. Actually, when you speak to them than dirty comics do because dirty comics. I feel like they get it out. They get the evil out. But clean comics just sort of sit in the evil and use it to make fun of you know, lines at the post office CO or something?

Chuck Shute: 44:42

It's kind of like those preachers that those bigger more the 80s but there's still some that are like that where they're like really like, you know, fire and brimstone and like you know anti this and anti that but then secretly they're really like an evil person themselves.

Alan Fitzgerald: 44:57

Oh yeah. And Kincaid to their drinking like German Shepherd piss, you know, at a fucking gay orgy. Like, and then they're telling people how to live this clean life. It happens absolutely all the time. That's, you know, like, a lot of people like a, like, I forget where I read this. But if someone's like a sociopath or a psychopath, someone's really antisocial person, they will almost always try to project the opposite of what they are.

Chuck Shute: 45:29

Yeah, it's like, well, that's like they, they don't know how to be like a human. So they're just like acting and some of them are, I guess, good actors.

Alan Fitzgerald: 45:37

Yeah. Yes. And some of them aren't good actors. Steven Seagal didn't fool anybody. You know, everyone you see is

Chuck Shute: 45:47

I saw something the other day that said, and this was like, it's an interesting fact. And I Googled in Israel. He did a reggae album, where he like sang in a reggae like, accent. Have you seen this?

Alan Fitzgerald: 46:00

Yeah, yeah, no, it's making the rounds on the internet. I want the punani give me the punani these things give me the pinata. That's something that's something an insane person does. Can you imagine being a movie star and having an ego that said, now you have to be a famous singer. Like that's, that's insane. And

Chuck Shute: 46:23

not like, you know, easy listening or something or?

Alan Fitzgerald: 46:28

Yeah, yeah. Reggae singer. Imagine imagine tomorrow if you thought you could pull that off. Yeah, just out of the blue you said I'm gonna sing reggae and people are gonna love it

Chuck Shute: 46:42

as a white guy Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah, crazy

Alan Fitzgerald: 46:47

yeah, I can I can talk about the goal all podcast but I'd better not because then you know, everybody would seven fucking one cancels, you know, stop listening.

Chuck Shute: 46:57

No, tell me about Seagal. What is it? I remember my dad used to take me into those movies when we were kids. Like my mom would have like a party or something and he'd take me in my brother's like, Hey, we're gonna go see a cigar. It was either Seagal or Van Damme. Or what was he? Like? I guess some Marvel movies but Van Damme and inseego I feel like we're the big ones where we would just be like a guy thing and just go in. They were all the same movie. It was just him kicking people up and there was some good ones.

Alan Fitzgerald: 47:24

Yeah, no, I enjoyed them a lot. Especially my dragon days because you know there's no plot for Worry about yourself or worry about a guy kicking someone. Though Seagal movies are insane. They're insane to watch now. It's like a time capsule. Because like, sometimes you'll watch a movie. And you'll be like, Oh, I can't believe like they can't they couldn't do that now, right? That's the big thing. Oh, they couldn't make that movie now. I watched a movie called marked for death by Steven Seagal every now and then. I don't know how they made it back then. If I'm sure you've probably seen it. The movie is just Steven Seagal killing Jamaican people. That's right. Movie. The whole movie. He just hunts down Jamaicans and kills them, because they're, you know, drug dealers in a town. But the crazy part of the movie is like towards the end. They like he kills so many of them, that they all just sort of retreat. So he actually goes to Jamaica to kill more Jamaicans he runs out of Jamaicans to kill in the town. So he gets on a plane and hunts more Jamaicans down. It's insane. Like how

Chuck Shute: 48:34

I need to rewatch that I definitely remember that was gonna say when you said Steven Seagal that was the one I remember the most. I don't know why. Because I just remember there was a lot of just him it was violent. It was more than just an action movie. Like he was just like murdering these people. A lot of them with his bare hands. I felt like, oh, yeah,

Alan Fitzgerald: 48:50

he was breaking hands. going, Oh, my head he had this move where he would pull your arm down here and freak out at the elbow that he would always do. He was always breaking arms and limbs and legs. If I can. Oh my god, like, when you're a kid. That's the coolest shit ever. Because you that's what you know. Yeah, it's it's fucking awesome. And it's still fun to watch and in a dumb way. But like, like, I couldn't like that, like net. When you look back at some of those movies. Now you're like, What the fuck? Were they thinking they can get away with that. You know, just just literally hunting down Jamaicans in the night with him and just him and a football coach. He's not even a cop anymore. He like quit two weeks earlier. So he's just freelancing. This just on his leg. He's not even on the clock counting Jamaicans he's just doing it as almost like a hobby. It's insane. How race is that? movie's insane.

Chuck Shute: 49:49

I need to rewatch that now. You should do movie reviews. You have a podcast, right? You don't do movie reviews on it though.

Alan Fitzgerald: 49:56

No, no, no. I just do a YouTube show. My buddy John Tilson I'll check it out. By the way, if anyone listening it's called explaining things. It's on the same channel as my standup special just put explaining things in there. It's the first thing that pops up on YouTube,

Chuck Shute: 50:11

the show notes.

Alan Fitzgerald: 50:13

Thank you. Yeah, it's it's just, you know, I break, we break stuff down for seven minutes. The idea is, Jonathan asks, I'm ignorant person, how to do something, and I'm the ignorant person.

Chuck Shute: 50:28

You're pretty smart, aren't you? I mean, what if you already know what the thing is?

Alan Fitzgerald: 50:33

Well, we try to make sure I don't. Except for if it's a stupid topic, then it's fun. You know? What if I know how to build a fire from scratch? That's not funny.

Chuck Shute: 50:45

You know? So how are you pretty educated guy? I mean, you do a joke. In your special about being a lawyer? I can't. But again, I don't know. Sometimes. I don't know. Are people kidding? Or this year? Like, were you really a lawyer? Or do you work at a law firm or something? Or what's the story guy that

Alan Fitzgerald: 51:00

just a joke? Just a joke. So

Chuck Shute: 51:02

you just did you ever? Did you go to college, you have a degree or anything like that.

Alan Fitzgerald: 51:06

And I went to college for like, three months. Okay, they don't have a degree and rape joke, so I didn't know what I was gonna do.

Chuck Shute: 51:16

Yeah, cuz I mean, you can tell from your comedy, that you're really smart. But for some people, I feel like school is just not the right avenue for them. Like you said, if they don't have that degree, then.

Alan Fitzgerald: 51:28

Yeah, I mean, a lot of people do. I have a bunch of friends. I've known a bunch of people got history degrees, and they just stand outside cursing the gods every day. You know, you gotta you gotta get a college degree in the right thing now. You know, yeah, I just have a four year degree.

Chuck Shute: 51:44

It's a kind of a lot of those degrees now are kind of worthless. I feel like most of the people I know that make a lot of money. It's sales. And you don't really need if you can just sell things to people. It's like you said with a comedy like, it's that's what it sounds like those comedians are doing that aren't that great. They're just doing sales, and they're selling themselves as comedians, even though not that great of comedians.

Alan Fitzgerald: 52:05

Yeah, it's probably being able to sell yourself to sell things being a salesman is just, it's an incredible skill to have. And you see people just get insanely far in life because they know how to do it. Even if they're not good at their actual job. Some people I've seen, they just sort of get ahead by selling themselves and like, Dude, why don't you just sell Jaguars? You would destroy it, instead of just looping up in companies and fucking up whatever you're in charge of, you know?

Chuck Shute: 52:34

No, that's, that's a very good point. Do you think that some people like with the comedian's angle, do you think that some of them maybe need like a manager? Like, do you have a manager because I feel like if there was a manager who was really good at the sales and all that stuff, then you could just be a comedian, and the manager could take care of all the other stuff?

Alan Fitzgerald: 52:50

Well, getting a manager is different than they used to be a manager used to see someone you they used to see a potential a talent in some right? I don't know, probably still happens every now and then. But it's less and less. So. They used to say like, Okay, this guy has doesn't have his ship together, but he's fucking really good at this. So we can fix everything else around him make a more streamlined process, we can help him with things. He's not good at the business side, the advertising side. Now, people just sort of wait till someone makes it. And then they'll come in and be like, Hey, give me 5% I'll book all your tour dates and shit like that. You know,

Chuck Shute: 53:30

that's interesting, because I was gonna say like, I feel like I see a lot of people who are talented such as yourself. And if I if I was like, a manager tie if that was something I wanted to do, I would in bands, too. There's a lot of musicians I've interviewed that I'm like, oh, man, we want to manage his band. But

Alan Fitzgerald: 53:45

there's so much great music out there that will never hear

Unknown: 53:50

what kind of music you like.

Alan Fitzgerald: 53:53

I tend towards rockin blues and stuff like that. I also like the rap from my era as well. You know, Nas Jay Z Mobb. Deep, Wu Tang Clan. Classic Rock. I love Radiohead. In a way CES, AC DC, stuff like that. Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young.

Chuck Shute: 54:17

Is there any so when you say like there's a lot of new bands, is there any new bands that you're listening to now that you think like, oh, yeah, big.

Alan Fitzgerald: 54:24

Mike. My buddy Tilson just got me on to this guy. His name was MJ Letterman. I think he's got the song called knock. And it's like, he wrote it based on knocking on heaven's door by Bob Dylan. It's not a cover. It's his own song. But it's but it's, it's called knocking on heaven's door, and I've started listening with old stuff because of it. The guy's most has the most views he has on YouTube is like 4.5k Something like that, you know? So no one knows who the fuck this guy is. And he's just fucking incredible. was incredible. And I just know there's tons of other people like that. and it's and it's, it's it, there's just not something to sell with them necessarily. It's like marketing, when you first start out marketing is like on you now, it's like on you. I think for the most part, you got to get views, you got to show that you can get an audience yourself before business comes to help you out. But as a before they had people looking for that next big thing. I think now people have to learn how to market themselves, no matter how good they are. They've got to figure it out.

Chuck Shute: 55:34

Now that's very well said, Yeah, it's interesting. I get I get so many publicity emails a day from like, I can't believe how many bands and some comedians and filmmakers to that I just I've never heard of these people, but they have enough money to hire a publicist. That's always what's interesting to me. I'm like, How did all these people afford a publicist?

Alan Fitzgerald: 55:56

Don't even know how much a publicist cost? I would never get a publicist.

Chuck Shute: 55:59

I think it's a few$100 a month, I think maybe it's different for if you're smaller, and they don't do as much maybe it's a little cheaper. I'm not sure. But

Alan Fitzgerald: 56:08

I always thought a publicist wasn't to help you advertise. I always thought a publicist was like, basically in case you fucked up, like the publicist was there to spin it. So he didn't look that bad. Well, yeah,

Chuck Shute: 56:19

there's definitely that piece of it. But I think for what I do, they set up the podcast interviews, right, they send out you know, press release, like, like, if you for your special, the publicist would send out the press release, Ellen Fitzgerald new special, you know, and then they would try to book interviews on podcasts and news stations and newspapers and try to get the word out basically.

Alan Fitzgerald: 56:40

Ah, okay. Well, maybe publishers are doing double duty now. Yeah, you know, I always just thought publicist in a movie and they were like crisis control. That's all good.

Chuck Shute: 56:50

Yeah, I think at the big time levels. That is what they there's a lot of that kind of stuff. Like or what do they call like the White House press secretaries or whatever. Like that sounds that job sounds like a nightmare trying to spin those things.

Alan Fitzgerald: 57:04

Well, yeah, really, really quite terrible. The only really, it's a it's a job for disagreeable people, for very disagreeable people. Because you have to kind of enjoy going not on are you listen to me in for a can, you know, you know? Yeah. So as much as it sounds horrible, I think, to maybe people like us. I think there's a certain segment of the population that sort of rebels.

Chuck Shute: 57:29

Oh, yeah, there's definitely people like I'm sure you've like come across people in your life that love to argue with you. Like, Have you ever dated a girl like that? Like, oh, you're just like, Dude, you should be like a lawyer or something like you should be one of those people because you love to argue that you actually enjoy it.

Alan Fitzgerald: 57:44

I hate now. Oh, I can't stand it. I don't want to argue with anyone ever.

Chuck Shute: 57:50

event I go okay, you win.

Alan Fitzgerald: 57:53

Yeah, I pick my battles. That's, that's how you got to look at it. You have to pick your battles. Is this worth it?

Chuck Shute: 58:00

Right? No. Absolutely. Well, you mentioned the musician is oh, I want to ask you this. Is there any up and coming comedians that you work with that you're like, Oh, this guy's gonna be the next big thing. Because a couple years ago, I had my nephew tell Ted Alexandro. He's a New York comedian. You open for Jim Gaffigan and stuff. Really funny guy. But I was asked that question. And he said, Oh, well, there's this guy over here called Tim Dylan. I think he's pretty funny. And now like, That guy's like blown up. So you guys always know ahead of time. Who's going to be big before they're big?

Alan Fitzgerald: 58:35

I don't know who's gonna be big.

Unknown: 58:39

My favorite like, yeah.

Alan Fitzgerald: 58:42

You know what? It's a Boston guy. There's a couple of Casey Crawford is one of my favorite comedians I've ever seen. And he doesn't have an album or anything out yet. He was going to release one. I think I messaged him about it, you know, trying to say like, Hey, come on, buddy gets a shit out there, you know. But Casey Crawford, I think is is an incredible comedian. He writes some of the best jokes I've ever heard. And he has this amazing personality with it, too. That just fits every single joke in his act. He did Jimmy Kimmel once, but it just it didn't lead to what it used to be what it used to lead to these late nights months. But yeah, he's my he, if I could, if I can make one guy famous. If I said one guy really deserves to be fucking famous. It would probably be him credible,

Chuck Shute: 59:37

I gotta check them out. And I'd love that because I feel like I have the same kind of taste as comedians just because, you know, as a comedian, you've seen so much comedy doing open mics and all the others and I just watched a lot of comedy so it takes a lot for me to really find a good can I'm kind of picky I guess. And so I mean, I like a lot of comedy, but what if I like a comedian like yourself that I really like or I was like, Oh, this special really good. It has to be you know, it has to be that level where it's like, it's not just made for the dumbed down America kind of boring clean comedy, I think.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:00:10

Yeah, that's how that's how it is when you get into certain stuff. Like, I think you start off, like, like maybe you start off really liking Garth Brooks. But after a while, I gotta guess that doesn't do anything for you either. So you get into other country, you know? Like, there's one guy, you know, here's the thing, Casey, unfortunately, he doesn't have enough shit on him online. Now look them up. Do if you're listening. look him up. But this is another guy named Dan Bolger. Who's fantastic. And he's got some videos on YouTube.

Chuck Shute: 1:00:39

Oh, yeah. I heard you talking about him on another podcast. Yeah, I was trying to look that up. I couldn't find the bit you were talking about though. And I know I can't remember what it was. But

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:00:49

yeah, yeah, hit him. Him and Sean Sullivan. We're like, my two favorite comedians. When I was coming up in Boston. I was like, the like this guy, Jason Chamberlain. I loved him. Just fucking out there, man. But he fucking quit. He says, Now, unfortunately, you know, the guy got got too much for him. You know, I, I I messaged him every now and like, Hey, you're gonna come back and thinking about it. But he's just, he's the sort of piece doing something else. But but for those guys that

Chuck Shute: 1:01:21

leave? Do they continue to do an occasional open mic or like an occasional weekend spot or do it as a hobby, at least?

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:01:29

I think what happens is, some of them come back and they start doing a mic again. But after like, you've been out of it for a year. You're rusty as hell. So that first might come back, it's gonna be rough. It's gonna suck. So So do you have what it takes to get on the bike and just keep on going after that? You know, like, you can't just do one mic, and then you're back. It takes a while to get your rhythm back and everything like that. So I think, you know, sometimes they do they go back to it, they do it again and everything, but there's just, it's not the same. Because they would have to do it a lot for them to get back at that level. Oh, also my buddy, Craig Bucha. He was really talented. But he he started a business. And he's got a family. So Wow. You know, yeah, so sad

Chuck Shute: 1:02:18

to see that. Like, I see it with music to where I see these musicians that are super talented. And then they just go a different routes or whatever, or they quit and you're just like, oh, it's like, sad to see that talent go to waste. But I get it too. Because yeah, you gotta eat. And sometimes a lot of these business things, you make more money doing that?

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:02:36

Yeah, it's when you got a family. It's not about you anymore. That's why I don't have a family. You know, I don't have a wife and kids. So it is just about me, so I can follow my gay little dreams. Like a lot of people can't fucking do that once you know, you know, they just can't do it. What comes first is their kids eating their kids, you know, having their, you know, just building a life for the cost money. And like I said, it took me 11, maybe even 12 goddamn years, just to scratch out enough money for me to survive. You know,

Chuck Shute: 1:03:12

that's crazy. Time, the 12 years. And then yeah, obviously not making the sacrifice not having kids or having a wife and all that stuff. And then I think too, it sounds like another big piece of it that I've kind of picked up from doing these interviews is being in the right place. Like you're in New York City. If you were trying to do this in like Wyoming or something, it would be a lot harder.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:03:35

Yes. Yeah, it'd be impossible. Almost impossible.

Chuck Shute: 1:03:40

Well, but then you see all these tick tock people what I know that's a very different thing, but you can go viral on Tiktok with it without ever having been on a stage.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:03:49

Yeah, that's different though. There's making it as a comedian and then there's people who make it on tick tock, and then make money being a stand up comedian, a very poor, horrible stand up comedian usually. But like, that's, that's complete. If you want to make it as a stand up comedy. That means you have to get good at stand up comedy.

Chuck Shute: 1:04:09

Yeah, no, that's absolutely.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:04:12

For the most part,

Chuck Shute: 1:04:14

I think but some of them I don't know, if they started in stand up, and then they did the Tick Tock thing, and the Tick Tock thing took off over the standup and now they're going back to the standup like, like Scott CISE I don't know his story, but like, I know, he's a stand up comedian. But he did that IKEA character thing that he did on tick tock, and that thing blew up. And so then I don't I'm assuming that's what helped boost his fame as a stand up comedian then now he's in like, movies. Isn't that cocaine bear movie and stuff like that? I don't know if you've ever seen his stuff.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:04:42

Yeah, sounds like he has stuff. Pretty funny stuff. Yeah, that's

Chuck Shute: 1:04:46

anybody who's ever worked retail. Like can you relate to that?

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:04:50

Yeah, I worked retail once I worked at the fucking Christmas tree shop. So it's like a New England chain of just bullshit. Just just cheap bullshit. was horrible working retail really sucks. Working retail and fast food really really sucks.

Chuck Shute: 1:05:06

Oh wait, which fast food place did you work out? I worked fast food.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:05:09

McDonald's. Ooh,

Chuck Shute: 1:05:11

is that good? Is that one of the better ones though?

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:05:15

I don't know. I never worked in another one. I said, I said I'm never working in food again after that experience, and I was only like 1514 Something like that.

Chuck Shute: 1:05:24

You know, I would think that would be the worst one is because it's such a it's such a popular thing that you're always busy with some people like but I worked at this place in in Seattle, and it was called skippers and it was like a local it was like kind of like an What do you call the fish? Like Long John Silver's is like a knockoff of that. But okay, he ever came in so we just all that we just fucked around and we like ate chicken and fish strip. fish sticks and then fries and they had these things called clam strips. And they were deep fried clams. Oh my god. Fast thing we always make them are like, Oh, we're making these in case anybody orders them? Nobody ever ordered them but they were delicious.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:06:03

That I love the job with good downtime, man. Oh, that was just the best, though. There's nothing better than just hanging out. You know? It's shitty jobs. You kind of meet the coolest people. Yes. I agree. Really do

Chuck Shute: 1:06:16

Yeah, no, that's always fun just hanging out with people just shooting the shit and learning about it. Yeah, and then when you when it when things get busy like that's what McDonald's sounds so stressful to me. You go in there and people are running around. I'm like, I worked at Chili's as a as a cook in the back. All right, that was the worst I've ever had. So hot and like you're just sweating for and it was like 12 hour shifts or something. It was insane. Back to that

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:06:41

12 hour shifts. Yeah, I I've had so many shitty jobs, so many shitty jobs. I think this is I think you need to work like a lot of shitty jobs in order to finally get a good one. I think that's how that works. I think there's some karma or something. Because I remember I was packaging. frozen seafood for a little bit. I couldn't handle the smell. I was doing that for way too long making minimum wage, but they would give me a lot of overtime. So I'd work like 650 to 54 hours a week. And I get time and a half on the on the extra ones. So I made a okay money. But it was really horrible. I was a bill collector two separate times. The three times one time I worked for a law firm. But I got fired from that one. I worked at CCA I was a collector. I was like I did three different censuses, a bill collector, I did four or five and customer service slash telemarketing one and retail wonder fast food. I just I did all these shitty shitty jobs. When you start doing something. Something happens in life where you just have to do that over and over again. Because it's the only thing in your resume. You know, it's the worst

Chuck Shute: 1:07:58

but don't you think? Maybe was that part of the motivation to try stand up to be like, Dude, I gotta do something with my life. I can't be frickin packing frozen fish food that for the rest of my life. Like doesn't that motivate you? Because I know that those three weeks worked for three weeks at Chili's. But that was enough for me to go Okay, I gotta do something different with my life. I gotta go to college or something. Because it was hell, I couldn't imagine.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:08:21

Yeah, yeah, you figure it out. Yeah, you figure it's like it's almost sometimes I wonder if I if I just if what I what I like more. Stand up comedy, or do I just love not having a fucking job? You know, not having a boss. Not having not having a half hour lunch break. That's a joke. Having a nametag? Yeah,

Chuck Shute: 1:08:50

having to wear khaki pants and tuck in your shirt and stuff. Like,

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:08:54

tuck in your shirt. I'm fat as fuck dude. My shirt comes untucked all the time. There's nothing I can god damn do about it.

Chuck Shute: 1:09:05

You ever get like written up for that? You're like, Dude, I can. My shirt doesn't talk in.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:09:10

I've never gotten written up for it. But just people like Elon tuck in your shirt. Like, ah, you fucking All right. You know, it is what it is, though. I'm not doing that anymore. Neither are you saying? I know dude. Seriously. It's It's pretty incredible. That's what most people do sometimes. Like, I think I think that most people, they just have to go somewhere they hate for half their day every day. Well, I think

Chuck Shute: 1:09:37

some people prefer like, I always talk about even you know, I always want to own my own business or always, I don't ever want to have a boss again. Because like, I felt like once I turned 40 I was like, Dude, I feel like I'm too old to have a boss. Have somebody tell you what to do you feel like a little kid. But something like that. Some people really like going to the military and having direct orders from and knowing exactly what's coming and So I guess teach their own.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:10:03

Yeah. Also, I mean, I just always, I never, I was never good at following directions. But you know, I would still get the job done most places. That was that was my thing. Like, whenever I worked in sales, they always had a script for me to read. And I always hated reading the script. And I, I almost never did it. Because I just figured out my own way to do things talk to my own way. I felt when I read a script, people could tell I was reading a script, and I hated the fact I was reading the script. So the motherfucker on the other end, the phone's gonna know, like, I don't give a fuck, you know? So like, people tell you how to do things. If you ever figure out your own way to do things. People don't like it because they want everyone to do the same thing, which is fine. It's their company. It's their, the way they want to run it, but it just never worked. For me, it just never did.

Chuck Shute: 1:10:53

No, that's exactly right. I totally agree. I was just talking to my girlfriend about this yesterday about when people read the scripts when they do the phone call sales and stuff. And also, like I remember, like, when you're, I'm sure you've watched these videos, like the corporate videos, when you get a job and you get hired, like, here's, here's your training, and it's this these totally fake reenactments of customer service, like how you're gonna handle it, you're gonna say like, okay, man, it's the same thing basically, as a as a script. Like, you're acting totally fake. And I feel like people can pick up on that.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:11:26

Yeah, and it's completely fake. Then you get to the real life job at McDonald's and some fat woman is calling you a pussy. You can't do your job and she got 10 Kids Screaming they didn't show this video. I don't know what to do. That's not what I ordered retard. Oh, that was not by have no like I was supposed to

Chuck Shute: 1:11:51

the script and see what it says on the ballot. He calls me a retard. Actually, ma'am, that is not the politically correct term.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:12:00

Yeah, yeah. There's really no no way to prepare you. No way to prepare you for the hell that is customer service.

Chuck Shute: 1:12:07

Yeah. Well, as a comedian you get heckled though you like it seems like most comedians have responded like kind of canned responses to heckling. Do you have those responses? Like prepared?

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:12:17

No, no, I try to live in the moment. Usually a heckler punched himself out. You learn that comedy pretty early, I think. Although honestly, most of the time, the best thing is, wait, what was that sir? Like literally 75% of the time they won't respond. You know? You know, because because, ya know, that's a smart person who has their shit together is not going to heckle a comedy show.

Chuck Shute: 1:12:44

Well, that's true. What about like, Do you ever do like the roast battles and stuff or you've ever done like, kill Tony, or one of those things? Because those are really fascinating. I mean, when I did do comedy, I would always like script out my jokes. I'm not good, like on the fly. But I'm always fascinated by comedians that can come back with a quick wit like that.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:13:05

I've done a couple of rows, battles, I don't like them. To be honest, I don't like doing any of this. I just like doing stand up comedy. And I've done a couple of roasts. They were fun, because you're roasting a buddy. Everyone knows each other. It's pretty weird when you just win, like someone will put on a roast battle. And you'll just have to go around go against someone you don't know. You know, you're just standing. And all you know is that they're fat. They're Jamaican, and their mom just died. And you just have to go at them. Like from that. Just just as hard as you can. It just feels weird to me.

Chuck Shute: 1:13:40

Just picturing the goal in that moment. Yeah, wow. Well, on that note, well, thank you for doing this. People should check out the special it's called. What is it called straight for pay? Hilarious special watch last night. I've also seen a lot of the stuff on the clips as well. So people could check out the clips and see it see it for if it's for them. But I recommend just watching the whole special because it's only like 37 minutes or something. Right?

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:14:12

Yeah, no one knows who I am. So I wasn't going to make people watch me for an hour. You know, it's a daunting task. You know, I think watching your comedian for an hour and you don't know what the fuck he is, but 30 I was always gonna make it 30 minutes but I kept the an extra seven and just because I liked it. 37 minutes, you can do that. You can fucking watch me for 37 minutes.

Chuck Shute: 1:14:31

Or you can just put it on YouTube and hit the repeat button. And you can go to the store and just give him the views. Be a nice guy.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:14:38

Yes. Also, you can send me duffel bags and cash if you'd like you can do that as well. Yeah.

Chuck Shute: 1:14:45

Help out a young starving artist, you know? Yes,

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:14:48

yes. If a young attractive woman you could live in my house and below me whenever I asked to. There's lots of ways you can help me out. I think of them like that. Well,

Chuck Shute: 1:14:59

are you on so Social media and subscribe to your YouTube channel. I'll put all that stuff in the show notes. You have a website, or link tree or one of those things.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:15:07

Follow me on Instagram at fuck City USA. It's also my Tik Tok in my Instagram in my twitter at fuck City USA. It's also my Venmo weirdly enough, I don't know why that that was allowed, but it's at fuck City USA.

Chuck Shute: 1:15:22

I know. You say fuck in an Instagram and all that stuff. That's crazy.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:15:27

Well, I I didn't space so they don't know. They can just think it's a Portuguese name or something. They have no idea.

Chuck Shute: 1:15:34

Okay, awesome. Well, thank you so much, Alan. And yeah, I look forward to new specials from you. And if you ever get down to Phoenix and do a show, let me know. I'll come see you.

Alan Fitzgerald: 1:15:44

Thanks, Chuck. I will you have a good one. All right. Thanks again, man.

Chuck Shute: 1:15:48

Bye bye. Thank you for taking the time to listen to the full podcast episode. Please help support our guests by following them on social media and purchasing their products whether it be a book, album, film or other thing. And if you have a few extra dollars, please consider donating it to their favorite charity. If you want to support the show, you can like share and comment on this episode on social media and YouTube. And if you want to go the extra mile you can give us a rating and review on Spotify, Apple podcasts or Google podcasts. Finally, make sure you're subscribed to the Show on YouTube for the video versions and other exclusive content. We appreciate your support. Have a great rest of your day and shoot for the moon.